There's a suit I wear over another suit, which is really just dress for this tangle of knobs and ideas that makes up the complex series of Algorithms that happen to have all decided (for the moment at least) to vibrate at the particular frequency-set that manifests itself to your observer's senses as this slightly long-winded cunt named Shawn. The suit above the suit – the clothes on top of the clothes – has been a major undertaking; what we used to call a 'fiction suit' back at the end of the last Millennium (okay, truthfully I guess I didn't get 'turned on' to calling it that until early the next, but the more miles on time's highway you put behind you the more they all kind of collapse and congeal into life's perpetually gnawing horizon) is not so much a disguise as it is an apparatus for burrowing into a tunnel, an unknown lair home to all manner of beings that are of alien interest to me. The act, ritual, construct, whatever language I choose to dress it in is an attempt to transmogrify myself into what I have stated with my Will that I want to 'become' – the new set of frequencies I want to oscillate at in order to best facilitate further understanding of this enormous cavern we all find ourselves lost in; this labrynthine, multi-level scaffolding that holds our sway for the better part (hopefully) of one hundred years and eventually quaffs us down into a further perhaps more direct (perhaps not) existence of interest.
Reward? Punishment? These are children's ideas for those who cannot look themselves in the mirror and feel excited to go on just for the sake of having the opportunity to do so.
Huzzah!!!
Sunday, July 11, 2010
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
Naw, you can jog, please work 2 have bst-r d m.
Is not what this blog is about even though they are a DAMN good band. I was just trolling and saw that I posted last week (or was that two weeks ago?) and decided that I would try to write a blog here at least twice a month from here on out, regardless of whether I have anything to talk about or not (not sure if this is a good thing).
Phases I've been drifting between:
Listening to:...................|||........................Reading:
X.....................................|||............Survivor
Talking Heads................|||............Less Than Zero
Tears For Fears...............|||............Imperial Bedrooms
Huey Lewis……............|||............American Psycho
__________________________________________________________________
Grinderman......................|||…….China Mieville’s Kraken
Danzig 9
Tones on Tail
Bauhaus
I was in the middle of a big lit kick that had me working on a new piece of writing, the loosely referred to 'Two A.M. Corridors' but now that I'm knee deep in Kraken I'm slightly paralyzed writing wise.
Watched Harmony Korine's Mister lonely and Alex Rivera's Sleep Dealer. Been slow getting into movies lately, too much reading.
Thinking about the absolute ridiculous amount the Universe must like me to have me meet the woman of my dreams so young in life.
Hanging out on Whitechapel a bit more lately, finding some interesting web sites there. Weaponizer, polpus, zazzle, et al.
Kinda getting into the D&D thing.
Phases I've been drifting between:
Listening to:...................|||........................Reading:
X.....................................|||............Survivor
Talking Heads................|||............Less Than Zero
Tears For Fears...............|||............Imperial Bedrooms
Huey Lewis……............|||............American Psycho
__________________________________________________________________
Grinderman......................|||…….China Mieville’s Kraken
Danzig 9
Tones on Tail
Bauhaus
I was in the middle of a big lit kick that had me working on a new piece of writing, the loosely referred to 'Two A.M. Corridors' but now that I'm knee deep in Kraken I'm slightly paralyzed writing wise.
Watched Harmony Korine's Mister lonely and Alex Rivera's Sleep Dealer. Been slow getting into movies lately, too much reading.
Thinking about the absolute ridiculous amount the Universe must like me to have me meet the woman of my dreams so young in life.
Hanging out on Whitechapel a bit more lately, finding some interesting web sites there. Weaponizer, polpus, zazzle, et al.
Kinda getting into the D&D thing.
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
confluence of events
My cat Lily yowling constantly on a cool Tuesday evening... I'm about to go nuts when my other cat Thompson starts yowling too, from downstairs. Outside the wind is mellow and pushing a lovely Ocean calm into my second story bedroom. I'm trying to work on this new writing project, high on Vicadin, Fat Tire and now I've switched to my trusty Sierra Nevada. Intermittently I'm chewing chunks of Bret Easton Ellis's brilliant new novel Imperial Bedrooms into the mess within me and ringing his paranoic style for all the inspiration it's worth (no small amount). There is a gaping hole in my mouth where blood has clotted over but occasionally surprises me with a stringy, iron-tasting dribble down the back of my throat.
Downstairs A Place To Bury Strangers is jamming at max volume. Fuck my neighbors (nothing personal).
I tip my beer but not before thinking that something urgent is transpiring somewhere in the forest of neural pathways etched into the meat between my ears.
The sun is down, it's 8:05 PM and although the chemicals and cool air are causing my fingers to lag a bit my mind is racing. I've got to get this down, got to get this down...
Two A.M. Corridor is the story of a bartender and the people he surrounds himself in an attempt to make the easy buck, get the girl who is already been explained to him is off limits and somehow avoid the frenzy of supernatural chaos that may or may not be the power behind one of the world's biggest hotel chains. Good luck Ray, you're gonna need it.
Downstairs A Place To Bury Strangers is jamming at max volume. Fuck my neighbors (nothing personal).
I tip my beer but not before thinking that something urgent is transpiring somewhere in the forest of neural pathways etched into the meat between my ears.
The sun is down, it's 8:05 PM and although the chemicals and cool air are causing my fingers to lag a bit my mind is racing. I've got to get this down, got to get this down...
Two A.M. Corridor is the story of a bartender and the people he surrounds himself in an attempt to make the easy buck, get the girl who is already been explained to him is off limits and somehow avoid the frenzy of supernatural chaos that may or may not be the power behind one of the world's biggest hotel chains. Good luck Ray, you're gonna need it.
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
The big fish
I stepped out of the shower this afternoon and while doing some deep breathing exercises I usually try to step into my day with for the first time I think ever I felt something behind the mask of the ego scaffold I so adamantly stick to.
I felt a quiet. Not an introspective quiet but a vast ocean of calm underneath the clothes I dress myself in when I step out of my mind and onto the stage where I interact with all of these other marvelous souls. It felt raw and primal and... powerful.
I'm going back in, after it, and suddenly I understand what David Lynch called the 'big fish'.
I felt a quiet. Not an introspective quiet but a vast ocean of calm underneath the clothes I dress myself in when I step out of my mind and onto the stage where I interact with all of these other marvelous souls. It felt raw and primal and... powerful.
I'm going back in, after it, and suddenly I understand what David Lynch called the 'big fish'.
Friday, November 13, 2009
The Smiths
I can't get them out of my head. I've never felt like this about a band before. Not that they're better or I like them more than other bands, but they're resonating with me in ways that are really kind of creepy. I'm not usually one to pay super attention to lyrics but Morrissey gets to me - he's able to capture in a few simple lines some of the most important, daunting ideas of what it is to live and love...
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Fuck you november 12th 2009
Fuck You November 12th 2009. You batter me for 9 hours with corporate-bullshit stress that makes my soul leak through my eyes, then you take my friend from me. Fuck you - I'll drive a nail the size of a gallon of alcohol through your heart and leave you dead and behind me when I wake up tomorrow in a world with one less person I love in it.
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
Life, the Universe and everything really worth thinking about (if you are in the habit of thinking too much)!!!
So, a long time ago I promised this in a strange aside kinda manner, and while I'm sure everyone who read it thought it was a joke, I can assure you, it most certainly is not. For damn near ten years now I have been, when not distracted by this large, slippery and often disabling thing called modern life, obsessed with cracking the codes this thing we call reality is written in. In the grand scheme of things I'm not really any further along today than I was when I started this, but I have learned an interesting trick or three, along with a wealth of information that alternately turns on and off, like some cosmic tap for bigger-than-human-life information. Not information as the two-dimensional whirly gig that flitters faster and faster through our constantly shrinking attention spans, but information as living, breathing, reality-altering substance. When actively engaged, the right information would appear more as an alien abduction than a boring snore through some ledger of letters and numbers.
Alright, I'm going to pause now to re-fill my coffee cup (my very large coffee cup) and when I return, we will begin...
SHAWN'S ATTEMPT TO EXPLAIN IT ALL
Warning, this is going to begin as a series of posts of loosely intermittent information that will then tie together in the end. I hope. Anyone who reads this should keep in mind I by no means consider myself any kind of expert or enlightened individual, and thus this is as much an attempt to coalesce and congeal this stuff for myself as for anyone else. I just figured, why not do it in public, might be fun for others to watch me run around the proverbial page like a chicken with its head chopped off.
Okay, first we should start at the microscopic level. See, one thing I am sure of is we as humans are so caught up in ourselves and things taking place on our level of experience, we forget or downright snub all the other limitless levels of existence that actually help make what we see around us exist. There is an age old Hermetic maxim, and every good book on Science or Magick quotes it at least once, because it is a good compass point to mark when beginning a journey such as this. AS ABOVE, SO BELOW - in its most concise form. What this means is that the universal relationships, why's, wherefore's and properties that exist on any one of these levels of existence, as in simplicity's sake we'll say the microscopic, they also repeat in all the other levels, as let's say, the macroscopic. This means that some of the same behavior we see Electrons, Neutrons, Quarks, and all their tiny brethren exhibiting is repeated with people, planets, stars, etc. A good, simple example of this is the idea of the orbit. Planets orbit the stars that grant them life, and Electrons orbit the nucleus of an atom. ONLY this idea has changed, and I interrupt the simple definition now in an attempt to introduce a new idea forthwith. For a long time this idea of the particles of an atom mirroring the behavior of the stars worked, that is until the inception of Quantum Mechanics.
Now, in Quantum Mechanics, arguably one of the most important ideas that arose was Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle, which essentially says that the more you try to pinpoint the exact location of a quantum particle the more uncertain its location becomes. This is roughly due to the idea that in the time it takes to receive the light to view the particle it has changed position. Herein is the advent of the Ground State Fluctuations. Now think about this...
If you consider Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle you immediately see that while it is common place to consider matter as being made up of particles you'll realize that if those particles move fast enough that we cannot see them then wait a minute, doesn't that mean they're behaving more like waves than particles? Ahh... so what do we call something that sometimes behaves like a particle and sometimes like a wave?
We call it a 'Quanta'. Quanta is a measurement - often h*j where h= Planck's Constant and j= an amount of radiation.
Anyway, if the Universe is made up of these quanta, which are always moving, there would be a constant accumulation of energy. These are Ground State Fluctuations and they occur on such a small scale that they are responsible, to some degree, for the physical essences that make up our world (what people used to refer to as Eyther, Aether, Ayether and all other manner of spellings). Matter, from the desk my hands now type against, to my actual body are complimenting quanta all vibrating (or moving, as in ground state) at the same or similar speeds. This is why some of the Universe we see, some we feel, some we taste, smell, hear, etcetera, and some are just plain invisible to us in every way. This is why some materials bend to our strength and others do not. What moves at the same or similar speeds interacts or appears to one another. This opens us up for the idea of different 'Dimensions' because they are things vibrating at different, or non-complimentary speeds to our own and those could be said, for us, to exist in different dimensions...
Alright, I'm going to pause now to re-fill my coffee cup (my very large coffee cup) and when I return, we will begin...
SHAWN'S ATTEMPT TO EXPLAIN IT ALL
Warning, this is going to begin as a series of posts of loosely intermittent information that will then tie together in the end. I hope. Anyone who reads this should keep in mind I by no means consider myself any kind of expert or enlightened individual, and thus this is as much an attempt to coalesce and congeal this stuff for myself as for anyone else. I just figured, why not do it in public, might be fun for others to watch me run around the proverbial page like a chicken with its head chopped off.
Okay, first we should start at the microscopic level. See, one thing I am sure of is we as humans are so caught up in ourselves and things taking place on our level of experience, we forget or downright snub all the other limitless levels of existence that actually help make what we see around us exist. There is an age old Hermetic maxim, and every good book on Science or Magick quotes it at least once, because it is a good compass point to mark when beginning a journey such as this. AS ABOVE, SO BELOW - in its most concise form. What this means is that the universal relationships, why's, wherefore's and properties that exist on any one of these levels of existence, as in simplicity's sake we'll say the microscopic, they also repeat in all the other levels, as let's say, the macroscopic. This means that some of the same behavior we see Electrons, Neutrons, Quarks, and all their tiny brethren exhibiting is repeated with people, planets, stars, etc. A good, simple example of this is the idea of the orbit. Planets orbit the stars that grant them life, and Electrons orbit the nucleus of an atom. ONLY this idea has changed, and I interrupt the simple definition now in an attempt to introduce a new idea forthwith. For a long time this idea of the particles of an atom mirroring the behavior of the stars worked, that is until the inception of Quantum Mechanics.
Now, in Quantum Mechanics, arguably one of the most important ideas that arose was Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle, which essentially says that the more you try to pinpoint the exact location of a quantum particle the more uncertain its location becomes. This is roughly due to the idea that in the time it takes to receive the light to view the particle it has changed position. Herein is the advent of the Ground State Fluctuations. Now think about this...
If you consider Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle you immediately see that while it is common place to consider matter as being made up of particles you'll realize that if those particles move fast enough that we cannot see them then wait a minute, doesn't that mean they're behaving more like waves than particles? Ahh... so what do we call something that sometimes behaves like a particle and sometimes like a wave?
We call it a 'Quanta'. Quanta is a measurement - often h*j where h= Planck's Constant and j= an amount of radiation.
Anyway, if the Universe is made up of these quanta, which are always moving, there would be a constant accumulation of energy. These are Ground State Fluctuations and they occur on such a small scale that they are responsible, to some degree, for the physical essences that make up our world (what people used to refer to as Eyther, Aether, Ayether and all other manner of spellings). Matter, from the desk my hands now type against, to my actual body are complimenting quanta all vibrating (or moving, as in ground state) at the same or similar speeds. This is why some of the Universe we see, some we feel, some we taste, smell, hear, etcetera, and some are just plain invisible to us in every way. This is why some materials bend to our strength and others do not. What moves at the same or similar speeds interacts or appears to one another. This opens us up for the idea of different 'Dimensions' because they are things vibrating at different, or non-complimentary speeds to our own and those could be said, for us, to exist in different dimensions...
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