It's always interesting to me that when I pull away from the Occult like I've been for the last, hell, maybe two years, weird things stop happening to me. Lately I've been re-writing my first novel, Thee Subtle War, which was conceived and performed, for the most part, in the height of a five-year submersion in all things Magickal, and now that I'm back into it it's affecting me by creating, for now, small almost random occurrences of novelty in my day to day existence.
One of the first places this 'heightening of the senses' usually occurs is in my dream time. Never too much of a dreamer (at least as far as remembering or controlling them) Magickal perception very noticeably defines the difference between 'mundane' or 'consensual' from 'hmm, strange' or 'bat shit crazy'.
Yesterday before I went out for the evenings activities I did a simple shuffle-and-pull Tarot consultation. My card was the first card of the deck, THE FOOL. This card usually signifies the beginning of a journey, the aligning of forces, both conscious and subconscious. With so much going 'right' in my life at the moment I'm inclined to interpret my last two full-out spreads (one I posted here a week ago) and now this card as the Universe trying to tell me all elements are in place to kind of hone my day to day with my subconscious - as if to fashion my very existence into a kind of antenna or lightening rod aimed at catching, utilizing and re-firing the wide array of skills and energies I possess/can evoke to achieve my goal.
Anyway... back to my dream. Now where this fits in is a bit weird, with perhaps a touch of 'If you've convinced yourself that's great...' My dream last night/this morning was frightening. No, terrifying. I was somehow involved in a rural area's exploits to perform an exorcism on someone I knew (not sure who, bit hazy). There were definite familiar faces beside the one in trouble but who they were I couldn't tell you now. Anyway, t some point the demon was loosed. From there I remember the priest performing the rite coming in close and touching me firmly on the bridge of the nose - and it was like he passed the spirit into me. I remember feeling that the priest contained something not so nice and was passing it onto me. I woke still feeling the heat and pressure of that touch between my eyes and being pretty much immobilized with fear.
I'm taking this to be something being passed onto me, yet I'm not sure what or how it may filter into my 'Quest'. One thing for sure though, I am definitely ready for some more bizarritude in my life (not at work though). Of course that means I'll have to start actually leaving the house...
Sunday, October 18, 2009
Sunday, October 11, 2009
A return to the tarot
I have worked with the Tarot for almost five years, however (and this is a big however) I have not been consistent. In fact it has been at least a full year since I've even picked my gorgeous Thoth deck up. This is an involved skill, and one I know I have to stick with in order to gain it's attributes as my own. Being that analyzing spreads takes quite a bit of time to do it correctly I'm obviously not going to be doing this everyday, but perhaps I can commit to once a week.
This is my first pull and in looking through one of my books I felt a draw toward this layout, The High Priestess, so in keeping with my theory that if you do not listen to your intuition you will lose it, I went with it.
As always, my spreads are done with my impending success as a writer in mind. I do not interpret anything within them to necessarily be applicable to any other area of my life. I'm in a place right now where I feel that my success as a writer is the only thing I am lacking (well, and money to pay off my bills and live, but that is directly tied into the writing).
Okay, so let's see it.
Spread for today:
Technique: The Secret of the High Priestess
Draw:
1) 8 Swords Interference motivating influence
2) 9 Wands Strength motivating influence (may hinder or enhance #1)
The phases of the moon as metaphor for intentions and impacting factors
3) 6 Wands Victory - current moon
4) 9 Discs Gain - waxing moon
5) Queen Swords - waning moon
Represent the pillars on either side of her Majesty
6) 7 Disks Failure What is in the light/ what is known
7) The Priestess - What is in the dark/ what is yet to be revealed
Where the journey leads/outcome
8) Death
The High Priestess' secret
9) Art
Okay, so let's analyze this.
If cards 1&2 are the two main impulses in my endeavor that could compliment or hinder one another what do we have? Interference and Strength. How do I read that? Well, the interference card is pictorially interesting in that it shows two main ideas criss-crossed or interfered by several others running parallel to them. This is a good analogy for my writing at the moment, as my main project, the novel I am finished with but still requires a small amount of tweaking, has been something I've been unable to focus on due to so many other ideas. The Strength card plays into this as the main wand of the picture connects the moon to the sun, an analogy for connecting the unconscious with the conscious. Interesting thing here is this is, in some ways, the main gist of the book, as the character, a thinly veiled and exaggerated version of myself from a parallel dimension where my life unraveled differently* experiences a series of trials in the 'third act' that are essentially his unconscious mind bubbling over into his conscious mind. This unfolds into my life as a book that has acted as a mirror for me to face interior parts of me I've perhaps never fully come to terms with. But does this mean the Strength helps me or hinders me? Maybe the answer will be in the rest of the cards.
So the next three cards are based on the phases of the moon. Card 3 is the Full Moon and represents current motivating factors, card 4 the Waxing Moon and is the power gaining influence and 5 is the Waning Moon and what power is losing influence.
So what's that mean in realtime?
3 was Victory, which is a slightly more ambiguous card than the previous two. In a nutshell this card tends to represent balance of creative energies which, when strung into a logical narrative with the previous cards can definitely be seen as saying that I am balancing my forces out and the Strength will be a solid foundation for my first two forces. The Interference ebbs and as it disappears a stronger foundation is left beneath my endeavors.
4 is Gain and if you look at Gain you can see the image of three spheres balancing in its center. This seems to be saying (esp. with my proclivity for the number 3) that my elements are solidifying, taking shape and feeding into each other for positive outcome. Hence 'gain'.
5, the Waning influence is The Queen of Swords. This is interesting in that if you look at the card it is very blunt about its meaning. The Queen, which is a creative force has a sharp sword (sharpened whatever, generically Will but overall force or power as held by the person in question (or their in this case their creative force) that they've used to sever the head of someone or something else, in this case that something else is clearly, when this is positioned into my little narrative, the interference and self-doubt.
Next we get the Pillars, which if you look at the card this spread is physically meant to emulate, the High Priestess, are on either side of her. The pillars are obvious nods to the pillars on either side of the entrance to the Temple of Solomon, named Boaz and Joachim and representative of the duality of life - we keep coming back to those original two Wands of force in the first card, but now we're looking at them without all the parallel interfering lines - in fact we're looking at them with the head of the interference severed. So the two Pillar cards were 6 Failure - what is known. Boy, failure is known folks, and I've got the rejection letters to prove it!!! And card 7, The Priestess herself. This is a real Deus Ex Machina here when you think about it. Image within the image, which is really what writing is, making micorcosms out of the macrocosm. This card, or what is to be revealed, is chock full of positive reinforcement. Fertility and Artistic Strength from the Bow (Fallopian Tubes or musical/combative instrument), multiple images of the moon representing an ascentive cycle or, when taken in conjunction with the 2nd card for strength, the 9 of wands where we found the image of moon and sun united, we can see possible interpretations of the unconscious being allowed to complete its cycle. That, to me at least, would suggest the endeavors reach fruition.
Finally we get card 8 which is where the journey leads. The 'What's next moment' so to speak. I pulled Death, and again, even though actual physical death has been on my mind all week here I'm only led to interpret it in terms of my endeavor. Plus, Death is more often the Tarot symbol for transformation. This of course seems to suggest I'll be transitioning with my endeavor. Transforming its nature.
Card 9 is a bit of an addendum. This card is the High Priestess' secret and should only be revealed if it is a member of the Major Arcana. So in the case of drawing for yourself you'd have to look to know, and if it turns out to not be a member of the Major then you do not factor it in. If you were drawing for another you'd simply not show it to them if it was Minor.
But mine was a Major, it was ART, which is one of the cards I've had the strongest relationship with. Again we get the fertility due to the bees on the Image's dress. There is a lot here and most of it is relevant. The Lion and the Eagle have swapped colors and that's a sign for reverse reality. This fits with the transformation card 8 suggested. The brew the Image is crafting is a sign of alchemical mixing, which is a term I use often when thinking about writing. You're mixing your life with these strange, ethereal elements - fiction is reality mixed with fantasy. The ART card here suggests the successful mixing of these, as with my endeavor bearing fruit. There are also signs of equilibrium and balance (also seen earlier) and to me, the picture represents perfectly the physical act of writing.
Interesting. In the end, even though I was consulting references as I wrote this, seeing this post finished and still hot off the experience of writing it I can't help but feel I'm better at the Tarot than I'd previously anticipated. The goal though, of course, is to be able to do the above without consulting anything but my mind.
This is my first pull and in looking through one of my books I felt a draw toward this layout, The High Priestess, so in keeping with my theory that if you do not listen to your intuition you will lose it, I went with it.
As always, my spreads are done with my impending success as a writer in mind. I do not interpret anything within them to necessarily be applicable to any other area of my life. I'm in a place right now where I feel that my success as a writer is the only thing I am lacking (well, and money to pay off my bills and live, but that is directly tied into the writing).
Okay, so let's see it.
Spread for today:
Technique: The Secret of the High Priestess
Draw:
1) 8 Swords Interference motivating influence
2) 9 Wands Strength motivating influence (may hinder or enhance #1)
The phases of the moon as metaphor for intentions and impacting factors
3) 6 Wands Victory - current moon
4) 9 Discs Gain - waxing moon
5) Queen Swords - waning moon
Represent the pillars on either side of her Majesty
6) 7 Disks Failure What is in the light/ what is known
7) The Priestess - What is in the dark/ what is yet to be revealed
Where the journey leads/outcome
8) Death
The High Priestess' secret
9) Art
Okay, so let's analyze this.
If cards 1&2 are the two main impulses in my endeavor that could compliment or hinder one another what do we have? Interference and Strength. How do I read that? Well, the interference card is pictorially interesting in that it shows two main ideas criss-crossed or interfered by several others running parallel to them. This is a good analogy for my writing at the moment, as my main project, the novel I am finished with but still requires a small amount of tweaking, has been something I've been unable to focus on due to so many other ideas. The Strength card plays into this as the main wand of the picture connects the moon to the sun, an analogy for connecting the unconscious with the conscious. Interesting thing here is this is, in some ways, the main gist of the book, as the character, a thinly veiled and exaggerated version of myself from a parallel dimension where my life unraveled differently* experiences a series of trials in the 'third act' that are essentially his unconscious mind bubbling over into his conscious mind. This unfolds into my life as a book that has acted as a mirror for me to face interior parts of me I've perhaps never fully come to terms with. But does this mean the Strength helps me or hinders me? Maybe the answer will be in the rest of the cards.
So the next three cards are based on the phases of the moon. Card 3 is the Full Moon and represents current motivating factors, card 4 the Waxing Moon and is the power gaining influence and 5 is the Waning Moon and what power is losing influence.
So what's that mean in realtime?
3 was Victory, which is a slightly more ambiguous card than the previous two. In a nutshell this card tends to represent balance of creative energies which, when strung into a logical narrative with the previous cards can definitely be seen as saying that I am balancing my forces out and the Strength will be a solid foundation for my first two forces. The Interference ebbs and as it disappears a stronger foundation is left beneath my endeavors.
4 is Gain and if you look at Gain you can see the image of three spheres balancing in its center. This seems to be saying (esp. with my proclivity for the number 3) that my elements are solidifying, taking shape and feeding into each other for positive outcome. Hence 'gain'.
5, the Waning influence is The Queen of Swords. This is interesting in that if you look at the card it is very blunt about its meaning. The Queen, which is a creative force has a sharp sword (sharpened whatever, generically Will but overall force or power as held by the person in question (or their in this case their creative force) that they've used to sever the head of someone or something else, in this case that something else is clearly, when this is positioned into my little narrative, the interference and self-doubt.
Next we get the Pillars, which if you look at the card this spread is physically meant to emulate, the High Priestess, are on either side of her. The pillars are obvious nods to the pillars on either side of the entrance to the Temple of Solomon, named Boaz and Joachim and representative of the duality of life - we keep coming back to those original two Wands of force in the first card, but now we're looking at them without all the parallel interfering lines - in fact we're looking at them with the head of the interference severed. So the two Pillar cards were 6 Failure - what is known. Boy, failure is known folks, and I've got the rejection letters to prove it!!! And card 7, The Priestess herself. This is a real Deus Ex Machina here when you think about it. Image within the image, which is really what writing is, making micorcosms out of the macrocosm. This card, or what is to be revealed, is chock full of positive reinforcement. Fertility and Artistic Strength from the Bow (Fallopian Tubes or musical/combative instrument), multiple images of the moon representing an ascentive cycle or, when taken in conjunction with the 2nd card for strength, the 9 of wands where we found the image of moon and sun united, we can see possible interpretations of the unconscious being allowed to complete its cycle. That, to me at least, would suggest the endeavors reach fruition.
Finally we get card 8 which is where the journey leads. The 'What's next moment' so to speak. I pulled Death, and again, even though actual physical death has been on my mind all week here I'm only led to interpret it in terms of my endeavor. Plus, Death is more often the Tarot symbol for transformation. This of course seems to suggest I'll be transitioning with my endeavor. Transforming its nature.
Card 9 is a bit of an addendum. This card is the High Priestess' secret and should only be revealed if it is a member of the Major Arcana. So in the case of drawing for yourself you'd have to look to know, and if it turns out to not be a member of the Major then you do not factor it in. If you were drawing for another you'd simply not show it to them if it was Minor.
But mine was a Major, it was ART, which is one of the cards I've had the strongest relationship with. Again we get the fertility due to the bees on the Image's dress. There is a lot here and most of it is relevant. The Lion and the Eagle have swapped colors and that's a sign for reverse reality. This fits with the transformation card 8 suggested. The brew the Image is crafting is a sign of alchemical mixing, which is a term I use often when thinking about writing. You're mixing your life with these strange, ethereal elements - fiction is reality mixed with fantasy. The ART card here suggests the successful mixing of these, as with my endeavor bearing fruit. There are also signs of equilibrium and balance (also seen earlier) and to me, the picture represents perfectly the physical act of writing.
Interesting. In the end, even though I was consulting references as I wrote this, seeing this post finished and still hot off the experience of writing it I can't help but feel I'm better at the Tarot than I'd previously anticipated. The goal though, of course, is to be able to do the above without consulting anything but my mind.
Friday, October 2, 2009
Haunted...
This could very easily be one of those pieces that start off with me going on about how much I love October, about how it releases some usually inert or obscured elements of my personality that are now able to stretch and come to light in the dying time. But I decided that, although I guess I did kind of just do that anyway, I would not do that.
Why?
Because it seems like everybody does that. And not to be a snob but I feel like I'm one of those people who October really does affect in deep and meaningful ways. And yeah, I know every self important asshole feels like that but this is one self important asshole who wants to make it clear that it's not about personal import, it's about the thick and viscous creativity that wells up and sloshes around every aspect of my being during this month.
Now granted some of this has dwindled now that I live in a part of the world where there really is just one long even season. But temperature is relative and let me tell you, in southern california when it's 50 degrees at 8PM you grab a sweater and maybe even curse the chill, because it's cold to you...
I've always found it interesting that in the season of wither (thanks MC) when things are shutting down human creativity could flourish. But then, doesn't that make some kind of sense? Aren't death and trauma two aspects of life that push us the most to vent and 'deal' with our emotions through our creativity? Doesn't it make sense that our invisible senses would react to the plane of our existence, our vegetable co-habitants of our world reaching the end of their lifespans and settling into decay.
Decay. The word alone has such an artistic trill to it. Decay is nature's residue, and what is art?
Art is the nature of man's residue.
The implications are amazing when you think about it. But really, look at the human artist. People they love die and they write and perform songs that will shape the lives and emotions of generations to come. They struggle with the ego-decay of addiction and it moves them to put pencil to page or voice to story and suddenly a resonance is created that will linger, decaying or, perhaps Haunted is a word better suited for my illustration here. And essentially hauntings are decay on a long and emotionally tangible time-frame.
Decay. I like that. Perhaps I'll write a song about it. After all, it's October now, isn't it???
Why?
Because it seems like everybody does that. And not to be a snob but I feel like I'm one of those people who October really does affect in deep and meaningful ways. And yeah, I know every self important asshole feels like that but this is one self important asshole who wants to make it clear that it's not about personal import, it's about the thick and viscous creativity that wells up and sloshes around every aspect of my being during this month.
Now granted some of this has dwindled now that I live in a part of the world where there really is just one long even season. But temperature is relative and let me tell you, in southern california when it's 50 degrees at 8PM you grab a sweater and maybe even curse the chill, because it's cold to you...
I've always found it interesting that in the season of wither (thanks MC) when things are shutting down human creativity could flourish. But then, doesn't that make some kind of sense? Aren't death and trauma two aspects of life that push us the most to vent and 'deal' with our emotions through our creativity? Doesn't it make sense that our invisible senses would react to the plane of our existence, our vegetable co-habitants of our world reaching the end of their lifespans and settling into decay.
Decay. The word alone has such an artistic trill to it. Decay is nature's residue, and what is art?
Art is the nature of man's residue.
The implications are amazing when you think about it. But really, look at the human artist. People they love die and they write and perform songs that will shape the lives and emotions of generations to come. They struggle with the ego-decay of addiction and it moves them to put pencil to page or voice to story and suddenly a resonance is created that will linger, decaying or, perhaps Haunted is a word better suited for my illustration here. And essentially hauntings are decay on a long and emotionally tangible time-frame.
Decay. I like that. Perhaps I'll write a song about it. After all, it's October now, isn't it???
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Weirdness in my head...
I feel like I have been unhealthy of late.
Exaggeration
I've been getting light-headed, almost intoxicated it seems at times. Times in the middle of the day when I've had nothing to make me feel that way.
Stop being so fucking dramatic
Little white floaters appear in my vision, on the periphery and sometimes even just before my eyes, hiding in the lower layers of the vision system that shows me the world.
Oh here we go...
Now I ask you, what the hell does all this mean?
Unfortunately I keep thinking I have a tumor.
Like I said drama, drama, drama
Basically this is probably an embarrassing case of child-like monkey see, monkey do. Ever since I watched Six Feet Under last year Nate's AVM has stayed in my head and I'm sure it's just fucking with me now. There's a part of us that always wants to believe that something terrible is going to happen to us. It's the same part that gets yelled at in 5th grade and thinks 'If I killed myself that would show them' and then ignorantly imagines the smirk on your face while you watch the people who have 'wronged you' suffer with regret at your casket-side. Except of course most of us realize really quickly just how stupid this scenario is. But maybe that 'terrible thing' radar hangs around in other capacities. Imagining terrible fates is one way to bolster your defenses against the world outside. It's self-centered and egotistical and just plain ridiculous I know, but in reality so is life; your life, my life, everybody's individual life because guess what? When you boil it down life is self-centered and egotistical. If it wasn't we wouldn't have a name for the not-so-abstract concept of the ego. Like Donnie Darko had to find out the hard way and Richard Ashcroft put perfectly into words:
"You come in on your own and you leave on your own,
Forget the lovers you've known and your friends on the road.
You come in on your own and you leave on your own,
Forget the lovers you've known and your friends you have told."
.......................................................................................
Okay, enough morbidity for now, my mind is racing all over the place because the light outside is just right and there's that ozone-like smell in the air - yep folks, it might just rain tonight in the Southbay (yeah right, but I can dream). Anyway, see that other voice is always so right. I get on these self-obsessed trips and then they pass. But I have been feeling a little wonky right now and as such what I decided to do as of yesterday is, if I can ever finish re-writing this one small (~140 pages) section of the book that I just finished writing (finished, ie: got to the end) then I am going to start a book about a guy with a tumor. Only he is going to be able to talk to and derive odd abilities (or is that just his mind playing tricks on him) from said Tumor.
I think the tumor's name is going to be Jim.
I figure by recording this here, if I either A) develop odd power or B) develop a tumor it will be recorded here.
Exaggeration
I've been getting light-headed, almost intoxicated it seems at times. Times in the middle of the day when I've had nothing to make me feel that way.
Stop being so fucking dramatic
Little white floaters appear in my vision, on the periphery and sometimes even just before my eyes, hiding in the lower layers of the vision system that shows me the world.
Oh here we go...
Now I ask you, what the hell does all this mean?
Unfortunately I keep thinking I have a tumor.
Like I said drama, drama, drama
Basically this is probably an embarrassing case of child-like monkey see, monkey do. Ever since I watched Six Feet Under last year Nate's AVM has stayed in my head and I'm sure it's just fucking with me now. There's a part of us that always wants to believe that something terrible is going to happen to us. It's the same part that gets yelled at in 5th grade and thinks 'If I killed myself that would show them' and then ignorantly imagines the smirk on your face while you watch the people who have 'wronged you' suffer with regret at your casket-side. Except of course most of us realize really quickly just how stupid this scenario is. But maybe that 'terrible thing' radar hangs around in other capacities. Imagining terrible fates is one way to bolster your defenses against the world outside. It's self-centered and egotistical and just plain ridiculous I know, but in reality so is life; your life, my life, everybody's individual life because guess what? When you boil it down life is self-centered and egotistical. If it wasn't we wouldn't have a name for the not-so-abstract concept of the ego. Like Donnie Darko had to find out the hard way and Richard Ashcroft put perfectly into words:
"You come in on your own and you leave on your own,
Forget the lovers you've known and your friends on the road.
You come in on your own and you leave on your own,
Forget the lovers you've known and your friends you have told."
.......................................................................................
Okay, enough morbidity for now, my mind is racing all over the place because the light outside is just right and there's that ozone-like smell in the air - yep folks, it might just rain tonight in the Southbay (yeah right, but I can dream). Anyway, see that other voice is always so right. I get on these self-obsessed trips and then they pass. But I have been feeling a little wonky right now and as such what I decided to do as of yesterday is, if I can ever finish re-writing this one small (~140 pages) section of the book that I just finished writing (finished, ie: got to the end) then I am going to start a book about a guy with a tumor. Only he is going to be able to talk to and derive odd abilities (or is that just his mind playing tricks on him) from said Tumor.
I think the tumor's name is going to be Jim.
I figure by recording this here, if I either A) develop odd power or B) develop a tumor it will be recorded here.
Friday, April 10, 2009
The Most difficult thing about...
... Magick isn't believing it's there. Nope. How I ask, could you NOT believe in Magick? In this world where a guy two parties have never met before can 'conjure' paperwork and then bang a ceremonial gavel and grant one ownership of land, children, money (and make no mistake, those little bills that represent value based on bajillions of sequences of 1's and 0's are some of our society's STRONGEST Magick) or any number of other privileges, rewards or punishments, Magick is the bread and butter of what we experience. Or I could always challenge nn-believers to visit Washington D.C. and tell me that it is not the most meticulously occult place in the country. Seriously, the a giant obelisk in front of a reflecting pool? Really...
But no, believing in Magick is not the hardest part of it. Nor is learning it. At this point there are a million books (most being watered down repackagings of Crowley's mostly illegible ramblings, Austin Osman Spare, Peter J. Carroll and Phil Hine) that can teach you the rudimentary philosophies and some methods that will get you going. No, the hardest thing is what's known as the Lust of Result.
Lust of Result is especially exacerbated in this day and age where everyone, and I do mean EVERYONE has ADD to some degree. Computers and the Internet, high speed cable broadband hoo-ha has affected MTV, which has affected advertising, which has affected Hip Hop, which has affected everything else (begrudgingly) and even information, as we know it, has been slim-lined, streamlined, stylized and miniaturized so that we get so much so fast we can hardly hang on to any of it (comparatively). Lust of Result is wanting the result you are trying to influence the Universe to give you, which of course inhibits your ability to get it. Crowley said it the best when, to paraphrase a passage in Book IV he points out, "How can you hope to produce changes in the world around you via nothing more than your Will when you cannot even control your own body or thoughts." In other words, I'm sitting here right now drinking a Sierra Nevada, fidgeting with my legs, oop - there's an itch on my neck, that when scratched starts one up on my elbow, earlier I was having trouble writing so I got up and snacked on crap food even though I wasn't hungry, then I vacuumed and compulsively cleaned for about twenty-five minutes, etc. etc. etc.
See my point.
This is where Crowley, who for all his outlandish and often douche-like behavior, not to mention his penchant for not practicing what he preached all of the time, was really quite a remarkable man (top notch mountaineer and part of the first team to locate and attempt to climb the path up Pakistan's K2) with many a valuable insight for Magician as well as Human, would begin talking about the benefits of Raja Yoga.
I wish I had the attention span for yoga of any kind, esp. of the Raja variety. However, referring again to the previous paragraphs here, I do not.
Could I train myself to better my attention span? Yes, I guarantee it is something that could be fought back. However, I would probably need to trim out some of the drinking, which I have no intention of doing (3 beers, on average, a night is I feel not too much to ask). But the point is, it's the concentration on this routine that combats concentration on other, more spiritually fortifying ones that would help in my enhancement of any preternatural skills I may or may not have convinced myself that I have.
In the end one thing I've taken from all the reading and practicing I've done is that there are no set ways to approach hacking into the local reality grid* - so I keep pulling half-assed attempts at performing in ways that are quick and clean and slight on the preparatory. However, if I ever move into a home with a concrete floor in the basement, you can bet I'm buying a whole shit ton of colored chalk and cracking out my Lesser Keys of Solomon text. Always wanted to try to devote some time to recreating some of those Golden Dawn-era rituals, just hard to do when your renting. But not even a massive sale on Guinness could keep me from that. Besides, I always fancied Constantine's mate Brendan's idea - conjuring the Perfect Pint!!!
...........
* thanks to GM for that imagery
But no, believing in Magick is not the hardest part of it. Nor is learning it. At this point there are a million books (most being watered down repackagings of Crowley's mostly illegible ramblings, Austin Osman Spare, Peter J. Carroll and Phil Hine) that can teach you the rudimentary philosophies and some methods that will get you going. No, the hardest thing is what's known as the Lust of Result.
Lust of Result is especially exacerbated in this day and age where everyone, and I do mean EVERYONE has ADD to some degree. Computers and the Internet, high speed cable broadband hoo-ha has affected MTV, which has affected advertising, which has affected Hip Hop, which has affected everything else (begrudgingly) and even information, as we know it, has been slim-lined, streamlined, stylized and miniaturized so that we get so much so fast we can hardly hang on to any of it (comparatively). Lust of Result is wanting the result you are trying to influence the Universe to give you, which of course inhibits your ability to get it. Crowley said it the best when, to paraphrase a passage in Book IV he points out, "How can you hope to produce changes in the world around you via nothing more than your Will when you cannot even control your own body or thoughts." In other words, I'm sitting here right now drinking a Sierra Nevada, fidgeting with my legs, oop - there's an itch on my neck, that when scratched starts one up on my elbow, earlier I was having trouble writing so I got up and snacked on crap food even though I wasn't hungry, then I vacuumed and compulsively cleaned for about twenty-five minutes, etc. etc. etc.
See my point.
This is where Crowley, who for all his outlandish and often douche-like behavior, not to mention his penchant for not practicing what he preached all of the time, was really quite a remarkable man (top notch mountaineer and part of the first team to locate and attempt to climb the path up Pakistan's K2) with many a valuable insight for Magician as well as Human, would begin talking about the benefits of Raja Yoga.
I wish I had the attention span for yoga of any kind, esp. of the Raja variety. However, referring again to the previous paragraphs here, I do not.
Could I train myself to better my attention span? Yes, I guarantee it is something that could be fought back. However, I would probably need to trim out some of the drinking, which I have no intention of doing (3 beers, on average, a night is I feel not too much to ask). But the point is, it's the concentration on this routine that combats concentration on other, more spiritually fortifying ones that would help in my enhancement of any preternatural skills I may or may not have convinced myself that I have.
In the end one thing I've taken from all the reading and practicing I've done is that there are no set ways to approach hacking into the local reality grid* - so I keep pulling half-assed attempts at performing in ways that are quick and clean and slight on the preparatory. However, if I ever move into a home with a concrete floor in the basement, you can bet I'm buying a whole shit ton of colored chalk and cracking out my Lesser Keys of Solomon text. Always wanted to try to devote some time to recreating some of those Golden Dawn-era rituals, just hard to do when your renting. But not even a massive sale on Guinness could keep me from that. Besides, I always fancied Constantine's mate Brendan's idea - conjuring the Perfect Pint!!!
...........
* thanks to GM for that imagery
Sunday, April 5, 2009
Lost in Triangulation....
Whenever I get the chance to spend a day flitting around the ol' In-tro-net I inevitably stop by a lot of the blogs here on e that I used to have the time to ponder on a daily basis. I never seem to have the time or attention span to do more with this network of invisible passageways than log on, check my email, write my Chudblog and then log off, as I've really tried to up the ante with my writing (and shopping the fucking writing too, which usually puts me in a foul mood) and don't wander as much.
Anyway.
It always fascinates me and makes me a bit sad to read all the glorious diatribes and ideas that go down on my Ohio friends' blogs. Dayton is something of an adopted foster home for me (through my wife) and the city, as well as all those glorious folks I know back there (what's up y'all!!!) have such a community - something I do not have AT ALL - that it makes me miss them and the place all the more. I always find myself wondering, what would it be like to know a place so well that the names of the shop keeps and the daisy chain of acquaintances who expand out from around them border and frame my own understanding and subsequently interaction with the place, so that whether I'm three feet in front of my house, five miles away in a bar that I like or buying a new set of strings from a music shop I'm in the presence not just of neighbors, but people. People not as in 'yeah, what else walks around on two legs and opens guitar shops, runs roller derby leagues or stumbles out of a bar into traffic I'm actually interacting with people - people who I know or know of, or in at least one case in the above make a mental note to recognize and never interact with again. No, out here in vast sprawling Los Angeles I have no neighbors - not next door to me or down at the bar. Not in the coffee shops I might breeze into and out of as quickly as possible or at the restaurants I've chosen to adore. It's definitely down to my own damn fault at least 60%, and it's also the uprooted factor that accompanies leaving behind everything you know, but it's also the product of my own distancing from the things around me for the things I'm trying to train and translate within me. This of course is something that must be done, but I cannot help but wondering what I would write if I could live in a place like Dayton for a year.
Maybe one day we'll know, eh???
Anyway.
It always fascinates me and makes me a bit sad to read all the glorious diatribes and ideas that go down on my Ohio friends' blogs. Dayton is something of an adopted foster home for me (through my wife) and the city, as well as all those glorious folks I know back there (what's up y'all!!!) have such a community - something I do not have AT ALL - that it makes me miss them and the place all the more. I always find myself wondering, what would it be like to know a place so well that the names of the shop keeps and the daisy chain of acquaintances who expand out from around them border and frame my own understanding and subsequently interaction with the place, so that whether I'm three feet in front of my house, five miles away in a bar that I like or buying a new set of strings from a music shop I'm in the presence not just of neighbors, but people. People not as in 'yeah, what else walks around on two legs and opens guitar shops, runs roller derby leagues or stumbles out of a bar into traffic I'm actually interacting with people - people who I know or know of, or in at least one case in the above make a mental note to recognize and never interact with again. No, out here in vast sprawling Los Angeles I have no neighbors - not next door to me or down at the bar. Not in the coffee shops I might breeze into and out of as quickly as possible or at the restaurants I've chosen to adore. It's definitely down to my own damn fault at least 60%, and it's also the uprooted factor that accompanies leaving behind everything you know, but it's also the product of my own distancing from the things around me for the things I'm trying to train and translate within me. This of course is something that must be done, but I cannot help but wondering what I would write if I could live in a place like Dayton for a year.
Maybe one day we'll know, eh???
...
Sit, please.
Thank You.
So, we really liked the book.
Thanks. I put a lot of time into it. Would you say it's ready to be published?
Maybe. We've got a couple of crack editors we'd like to run it by. There's some small stuff - you tend to use more passive verbs than active ones, sentence structure. Stuff like that. But for the most part the story is there, so if you feel comfortable with it...
Oh yeah, believe me, I've waited for this for some time. And this one was a lot easier than my first one, which I just recently started going through again and sprucing up.
So what we'd like to do is tell you a little bit about our firm and the way we do things, what we could do for and would expect of you, and then if everything is still good, well, we can sign a contract and start looking at some of the other stuff you've got.
Excellent.
Thank You.
So, we really liked the book.
Thanks. I put a lot of time into it. Would you say it's ready to be published?
Maybe. We've got a couple of crack editors we'd like to run it by. There's some small stuff - you tend to use more passive verbs than active ones, sentence structure. Stuff like that. But for the most part the story is there, so if you feel comfortable with it...
Oh yeah, believe me, I've waited for this for some time. And this one was a lot easier than my first one, which I just recently started going through again and sprucing up.
So what we'd like to do is tell you a little bit about our firm and the way we do things, what we could do for and would expect of you, and then if everything is still good, well, we can sign a contract and start looking at some of the other stuff you've got.
Excellent.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)