I hate feeling as though I have friends out there who I can no longer talk to because of petty little squabbles. Seriously, I can't think of one example where this has happened where it has not been at least partially my fault, so I'm not pointing fingers at anybody and declaring my outrage or anger at them. No, its just that age old idea that time is the great destroyer - it literally pulls the fabric of our lives apart. Of course some of that is just the way we as people, with raging ids, egos, and libidos do things. We ATTACH to things, nostalgia for times and people that no longer orbit the same planets we do. How could they? It's like the ultimate proof of good ol' Aleister Crowley's Thelema, the basis of which is the idea that if everyone does what they are truly supposed to do, they would never cross another - our 'paths' take us to our ultimate selves, and on the path to our ultimate selves why would there be conflict with others? This then, what I'm talking about right now, shows how we form islands of alliance, friendship and comaraderie in our fledgling or formative years, tiny Pangias of meaning that eventually get pulled apart, scattering all the components into their own course, to become their own continents.
But this is one of those days where I'd like to call some people and chit chat, I won't name names, but suffice it to say that working on my screenplay about growing up in bands there's some pretty integral guys out there I cut my fucking teeth with in everything from bar fights to recording to throwing fucking potatoes at people. Some guys I'd like to call up and say 'What's up fucker," and drink a beer while on the phone and talk about what we're up to.
Fuck it, I don't dwell, I just wanted to catalogue this as a feeling, so next time it happens I can come here, glance at the words and dilute the nostalgia before it begins.
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